A Week and Some Change

Jacob is now one week old, plus a few days.

And we're already noticing some change in him!

So here's an overview of his first week of life!

We spent almost four days in the hospital, three nights.

Here's a few shots from our stay there.

He took to the pacifier immediately!

And it hasn't affected his appetite nor his latch abilities,

so we do use it periodically.

On Tuesday we got ready to come home,

dressing Jacob in his HANDSOME outfit.

The next day Daddy was at school,

while Mommy got to hang out with the biggers again!

Of course, with a C-section

comes a lot of restriction on what I can/cannot do,

due to pain but also due to recovering as quickly as possible.

Grandma graciously stuck around for much of the day,

lifting Robbie when needed,

fixing meals and helping in so many ways.

We're thankful for you Grandma!

I did manage to get leftover dinner ready for lunch for the kids,

and set them up with their "tv trays" downstairs in the living room

to watch a little Curious George while they ate.

They seemed to truly enjoy the special treat of eating free of a table

and in front of a special "movie".

Plus, I got to stay in my comfy rocker while they ate,

which was much better than trying to sit at the table with them.

Jacob had his first doctor's appointment on Thursday.

He has lost a few ounces, as is expected,
but looked good other than that.

His circ is healed up completely, and he's pink and healthy!

Taylor was proud to introduce him to her doctor.

Both she and Robbie wore their stethescopes to the doctor's office,
and "stole" the hearts of all the nurses as we walked back to the patient room.

I will have a doctor's appointment for ME in a few more weeks.

So far the recovery has been much rougher than with my natural deliveries,
but I am definitely aware that I'm healing and improving.

I'm still on the narcotics for one more day-
I split them into half doses so I could make them last a little longer.

It is hard for me to rely so fully on other people,
but God has lots to teach me about my needs and how He chooses to provide.

I am rotating between three dresses,

and doing laundry every other day

so I can be comfortable and keep anything

from resting on my waist area.

Feels funny to be wearing dresses so much

but just for lounging around the house! haha!!

My incision site is healing well,
and my pain level is slowly becoming more manageable.

For this I am grateful!

Robbie loves to go up to the "Bee-bee"

and usually points out Jacob's eyes, hair, nose and chin.

He hasn't seemed to be tempted to throw anything at him yet,

which is a blessing since he's always throwing balls around the house =)

Both Tay and Robbie were STOKED to have Daddy and Mommy home!

They have especially shown it with their Daddy,
and they are missing him as soon as he leaves for school each day.

They provide him with a HUGE welcome home each evening!

On Saturday Jacob had his ONE WEEK BIRTHDAY!

We celebrated by getting him nakey nakey...

...And giving him his first bath at home!

He liked lounging in the "hot tub" of the guest bathroom sink

And barely opened his eyes for that part...

But once we started pouring water over his arms and legs
he started fussin' and soon he was in full cry mode!

So we quickly finished off the bath, washed his hair,
and wrapped him in his towel!

He was soon fast asleep- tuckered out from all that bathing action!

Jacob Sterling is such a precious gift,
and I was just saying to Greg today,
"Yes, I remember what life was like before Jacob joined our family,
but it just feels so right and complete now that he's here!"

We're in love!

Birth Story: Jacob Sterling Hickle

I thought I'd do a post about our 

Birth Story and C-Section
but it's not for those with "queezy" tummies!

So last Friday "Little Buddy" was head down, 

and I was doing TONS of walking-- 

I got up early in the morning and went on a walk since I couldn't sleep. 

I did not lay down at all during the day, and slept very tentatively during the night- 

fearing every time I felt him move that he might be choosing to flip again. 

But he stayed head down, and I thought he was getting a little lower.

On Saturday we went in at 7:40am,

 and it took about an hour and a half of answering questions, 

checking in, getting the IV in (yikes my nurse wasn't so great at that part), and other prep, 

then we started the Pitocin drip. 

For the next two hours Greg and I hung out, 

and my contractions really picked up- 

sometimes even just three minutes apart. 

Then I had a contraction and it hurt up under my ribs...

 turns out a baby with enough determination can 

actually FLIP between these strong contractions! 

"Buddy" was head up again!

So we called in the doc to confirm, and sure enough...
We discussed options again, and basically there were three:

1) Unhook the Pitocin, 

go home, 

and plan for an induction a week later- 

hoping he would have flipped head down, dropped down and engaged,
but not gained too much as he was already on the large side. 

(If he didn't flip- then C-section. 

Danger would be if my body decided to go into labor

-with my fast labor histories-

 but he was breech then it’d be an emergency c-section.)

2) Unhook the Pitocin, 

wait an hour to be sure it was all out of my system
and my uterus was relaxed, 

do the external version, 

hope that it draws him low to engage, 

redo Pitocin, 

and break my water to induce. 

(If he didn't drop low enough they wouldn't be able to break my water, 

and he'd most likely flip again. 

If they did break my water and he didn’t engage and come soon, 

it’d be an emergency c-section.)

3) Unhook the Pitocin, 

and go in for a c-section right now.

Greg and I went back and forth about it. 

In the end, after consulting and crying and thinking and praying, 

we both found we were leaning towards doing a c-section now 

rather than chancing having to do an emergency c-section later… 

A difficult decision to make. 

But once we’d said it aloud we both felt like we were fine moving forward with it.

So they prepped me for the c-section, 

gave Greg this great jump-suit of scrubs, mask and hairnet to wear. 

And whisked us off into the OR about an hour later.

They did the epidural-like injection into my back, 

and I laid on the table, 

feeling like the heaviest blanket ever was crawling its way from my toes to my ribcage. 

It became a bit hard to breathe, or so it felt like it, 

but they told me that I was actually breathing fine. 

They put me on Oxygen just to ease my mind though. 

Then they put up the sterile-area sheet by my shoulders, and Greg came in. 

He was allowed to bring the still camera, so this shot is from his perspective. 

You’ll have to ask him- 

but he said he found it quite fascinating watching over the curtain.

But get this! 

Little Buddy actually flipped DURING the operation as well, 

so he came out butt first, then feet, then shoulders and last his head. 

You can kinda tell in the OR picture, if you wanna look closely.

The hardest part wasn’t that I didn’t get to be “a part of it” during labor 

nor that I would have a rougher recovery,

 but for me the hardest thing was that I didn’t get to “have him” right away. 

Because of the breech and diabetes factors,

 the NICU nurses whisked him off to their corner for several minutes

 before I got to even see him. 

I could hear his cries, and they just brought tears to my eyes. 

Happy-but-longing-to-hold-him tears. 

Greg said that he looked fine, 

and that they were wiping him down and checking him out over at the warmer. 

The Anesthesiologist was HYSTERICAL 

and he was the only medical person on my side of the curtain. 

So he narrated the whole thing for me. 

He told Greg he’d be allowed to go over to the warmer 

and snap a few pictures if he’d like, so Greg went over there. 

Tears streamed down my face, 

and the anesthesiologist said to me, 

“I don’t have any Kleenex in this sterile environment, 

but I do have this extra towel. Do you wanna use this?” 

My lips and nose began to SEVERELY itch during the procedure, 

so he gave me Benadryl through my iv.  

It didn’t completely take it away, but I guess it must have helped a little. 

Soon the nurse came over with Little Buddy all wrapped up in a blanket, 

and I got to finally see him! 

He looked a lot like Robbie to me at that moment!

Then I flooded with more emotion =). 

Greg snapped the picture of me with him. 

While the doctors sutured and stapled me up, 

I could hear their conversation. 

They were SO surprised that he weighed in at 8 lbs 3 oz, 

as they couldn’t believe he’d had enough room in there to do all that flipping! 

Doctor Castles (my family OB practitioner) was the assistant in the OR 

and she told me later that she’d never seen 

Doctor Harris (the OB that technically did my C-section) 

work so hard to get a baby out in a c-section!

Doctor Castles also said, “You know, things happen for a reason. 

I had really hoped that when we opened you up we’d see 

why he refused to engage in the pelvic area, 

but we didn’t really see anything. 

Could it be that if we’d tried getting him down there 

his head wouldn’t have been at the right angle or something? 

There’s always a reason. 

And now we have him here and everyone is safe.” 

I have a deep feeling that she’s a believer, 

with things like this that she’s said. 

She also told me a few weeks ago

that she had a network that was praying for my situation too.

After a little while of baby being back with the nurses, 

they took my sheet/curtain down, 

and several of them worked together to lift me from the OR table to my bed.

 I couldn’t believe how truly NUMB I was. 

I wished I could be “helpful” in their moving me,

 but I had no ability at all. A very weird sensation. 

Then Dr. Castles said, 

“And this is my favorite part!” 

as she handed me Little Buddy 

and rested him in the crook of my arm on the side of the bed. 

They wheeled me back to my room,

 and she had Greg help prop me up a little sideways 

so that I could breastfeed immediately. 

And that’s when Jacob and I first got to finally bond! 

I longed for him so badly, and I just teared up immediately.

 So happy to have him here!

Greg and I took our time to decide officially on his name. 

And we’re so happy with the final name! 

He’s our Jacob Sterling Hickle, for sure!

The Hickles Five

Jacob is doing very well.

He just came back from his 24-hours-old test.
Looks like all is well.

Mommy is recovering--- slowly.
C-section recovery is SO different from natural delivery.
The pain has been very high at times,
but for the most part it's manageable.
Thank you for your prayers.

HERE HE IS !

Jacob Sterling Hickle

Born August 31, 2013 @ 2:45ish pm

8 lbs 3 oz, 20.5 in

Final FFF of Four

Our next FFF will hold another little face!

Excited to see him soon!!

Little Buddy: 38 weeks in utero
Robbie John: 20 months 1 week
Taylor Lee: 3 years 8 months

Tomorrow morning is the planned induction.

Thank you for your prayers!

Preparin'

So I know mothers go through nesting periods

and I definitely have my moments of nesting with this Lil' Buddy

but the KIDS are also preparing!

Here's one of the ways Taylor Lee

 is getting ready to welcome Little Buddy!

(Remember, to view the video you need to go to our site)

hickles.blogspot.com

And here's Robbie John--

doesn't he just seem READY to be a big brother? =)

(Remember, to view the video you need to go to our site)

hickles.blogspot.com

And here's Little Buddy

making sure we don't forget he's on his way!

(a total mover and a shaker this boy!)

(Remember, to view the video you need to go to our site)

hickles.blogspot.com

And lastly, here's how excited

the two "biggers" are to finally get to meet Little Buddy soon!!

(Remember, to view the video you need to go to our site)

hickles.blogspot.com

Flippin'

I mentioned in previous post
how I would liken this pregnancy to a bit of a roller coaster.

One I've been grateful to be on,
but still a roller coaster.

Well Little Buddy insists that the ride is not over!

And to accompany this ride,
I've now had the Fresh Prince of Belair song in my head,
"My life got flip, turned upside down"
(Come on! You know you wanna sing it with me!)

Last Thursday I had my regular NST and OB appointment.
They hook me up to a machine and
I get to sit and listen to Little Buddy's heart beating so preciously,
and then the OB doc comes in and we chat,
she checks my status, she checks the NST results,
and then I'm no my way.

Well last Thursday when she checked to see if I was dilating at all
she said I AM just a little,
but that the baby was really, really high.
After further investigation
and some poking around on my tummy
she discovered he was probably flipped!
So she went and got the portable ultrasound machine,
and sure enough-
his softball sized head was up in my ribs!
No wonder that day he felt so different in his movements!

So she discussed the options with me.
Either we could schedule an ECV (version)
where they externally oil up my belly
and a doctor manually coaxes and pushes and squishes
to get the baby to flip and turn around
(some say it's VERY painful, others say it's NOT BAD),
or we could wait to see if he flips on his own-
but if he doesn't within a few days, we'd schedule a C-section.

Well, if I can
I'd really prefer to deliver vaginally,
especially since I know my body has been able to do it before,
so I opted to let her schedule the ECV.

Because my doctor is a family practice, and not an OB/GYN
she can't be the one to do the ECV,
so she contacted my diabetes doctor/overseer,
as he is an OB/GYN, and a crisis-pregnancy expert.
Then I got a call from his assistant
saying he'd like an ultrasound prior to doing the version,
to confirm the placement of the placenta
and to make sure baby isn't too flippin' "big" for an ECV.

So on Friday afternoon I had the ultrasound
(which was fun- cuz I got to peek at him again!)
and sure enough- he had flipped!
He was head down down down,
and the formula for calculating his weight
put him at just under 8 lbs.

(I consider all ultrasound calculations to be flippin' inflated,
as they said Robbie was going to be about 8 and 1/2 lbs
and he was only 7 lbs 5 oz.)

So all is good- no ECV to schedule.

Then Saturday evening I went to bed,
and could feel he was really active.
I awoke at 1am, and sure'nough
he'd flipped!
His hard head was DIGGING into my ribs
and kept me up for several hours that night.
I was exhausted on Sunday.

And he stayed mostly head in my ribs
for the morning and into the afternoon.

By evening on Sunday
he was pretty much parallel to the floor.
Head to my left side, rump to my right.

I had another NST this morning,

with a different doctor,
and I asked her if she'd be willing to give me a check
even though I wasn't due for a weekly check until Thursday.

The news: still a tiny bit dilated, but 50% effaced,
and Little Buddy had certainly flipped again.
He was head down-

not engaged all the way down yet, but at least head down!

My next appointment will be with my doc on Thursday.

We'll find out if he's flipped again-- silly boy!

I think he's having too much fun in there!!

We shall see what she thinks about all this flippin' business!!!

As of right now

the induction is scheduled for early Saturday morning.

Would you pray with me that he'd engage, and keep his head down?

It's one of those things that I feel sorta "silly" asking for prayer about,
as I know God's got this SO under control,
and I'm trying to truly trust His timing!

However- He tells us to ASK!

So I'm asking you to help me ask!

And then you can join me in thanking Him for this flippin' kid!

=)

FFF

Little Buddy: 37 weeks in utero
Robbie John: 20 months
Taylor Lee: 3.5 years

Hi, I'm Pregnant!

I feel like these days
everything I think about
is somehow linked or defined
by the fact that I'm pregnant.

My daily to-do list,
my choice of activity (or non-activity) with Tay and Robbie,
my eating schedule, my insulin shots, my glucose tests,

my need to rest and put my feet up,

my thoughts and dreams,

my emails, my blogs, my facebook updates,

my short lived grocery store trips,

my cravings or loss of appetite,

my schedule of appointments and doctors,

down to even my prayer and worship life!

I notice when I'm out that people, strangers, they see me,

then lift their eyes and look into mine.

Some wink. Almost all smile.

There's something about a v.e.r.y. pregnant woman
that reminds people of the preciousness of life.

It brings them joy.

I think they picture that lil' infant, soon to make his debut.

Here are some of my
favorite things
about being pregnant

*
My kids have all been BIG TIME movers.
Little Buddy is no different.

He has remained sort of "sideways"
with his head down by my left hip area,

and his rump up near the bottom of my ribs on my right side.
So I get arm movements in the lower half of my tummy,
and feet and knees in the upper half.
He gets hiccups quite often- usually soon after I've eaten.
He seems to be "most active" when his bro or sis
are squealing, crying or giggling near me.

His heart rate responds actively, as it should,
so his NST's have been quick and easy.

*
When I'm pregnant, there's a knowledge that
I am never alone.
He's "walking" every step with me,
cuz he's INSIDE me.

It's amazing how this translates to
continued understanding of what it is
to trust that Jesus sent the Holy Spirit
to do the same!

My mom put this picture on my facebook a while back,
and it resonates with something I realized
back in 2008 when we had our first pregnancy end
so suddenly with a miscarriage.
I had only known for 3 weeks that I was pregnant,
but for those 3 weeks I had "not been alone"
and now I knew that little one was gone from me.

Now I have this little guy, all 37 weeks I've had with him,

and he'll soon be in my arms instead of my belly!

I heard once, from a friend,

that after she had her baby she felt embarrassed

to admit that she kinda missed being pregnant.

But I get it!

I would in no way wish my kids were "back inside"

but I did miss having them with me all the time.

While I can't wait to hold him and kiss him

I'm sure I'll miss Little Buddy's steady movements as well.

* 

I love to think about how this little one
will grow to be as old as Robbie is now,
will then hit a stage like Taylor is now,
will do another stage, unknown to me as a mother.
I love to dream about his future in our family.
I love to pray for him, and know Jesus hears me.

I love to consider so many possibilities for his life.

Mothering is so special,
and I am grateful for these opportunities
God's blessed me with,
to be pregnant and have these little ones!

I feel overwhelmingly thankful!

*

So, all that to say,
I may be wishing the pregnancy away at times,
as I want him to arrive,

to hold him, kiss him, and get to know him,

but I'm also so thankful for this time WITH him,

to share my heartbeat with him every moment of every day.

It may be that this is my last time to experience this,
so I'm choosing to relish in these little kicks,
and I find I'm smiling as I write this!

So, hi! I'm Pregnant.

~Nice to meet you, Pregnant!~

Thirty Six and Counting

No, I'm not 36 years old,
but we're over 36 weeks along in this pregnancy,
and I find it amazing how quickly the months have ticked by!

Ups and Downs
Definitly many roller coasters
Spring and Summer
But manageable temps, not roasters
Orthostatic-hypotension
Otherwise known as dropping blood pressure
Blood glucose strips
And a diabetes course refresher
Acceptance quickly
From Medicaid in Montana
Then the bonus of food stamps
So we can buy things like bananas
Back spasms
And hip joints slipping to and fro
Finding out
Tay and Robbie would get a new bro
Feeling Lil' Buddy
Move and kick and wiggle
Letting Taylor
Feel his movements and hearing her precious giggle
Insulin Dependent
But not until a bold week 28
Starting Non Stress Tests
And relishing in his steady heart rate
Medicaid covering
100% of all the meds I need
Early contractions
Accessible docs that respond with speed
An active baby boy
From kick to squirm, hiccup to tickle
A Mommy
Ecstatic to meet and hold our Buddy Little

A most likely
Induction to bring about delivery
To get to bring him home
To us a little bit early

A roller coaster
This has been, no doubt
And God has walked
Along with us throughout
Thankful, ready,
Encouraged, loved, blessed
Excited to add
Another birdie to our Hickle nest

FFF

This week's photos are funny to me--
Taylor was in a silly mood
so we've got funny poses and faces!

Little Buddy: 36.5 weeks in utero
Robbie John: turns 20 months later this week!
Taylor Lee: 3.5 years

Conversations

Here's a glimpse at what you might hear
if you were a fly on the wall
at our house these days:

Robbie is at the kids' cupboard of plastic dishes,
pulling things out, putting them back, stacking them, banging them.
Taylor wants to play in the bedroom with a toilet paper roll.
Taylor: "Come on Robbie. Come in here. Let's play."
Robbie, continuing to play: "Mmmm"
Taylor: "Come on Robbie. I don't want to play by myself."
Robbie: "Mmmm" and continuing to stack dishes
Mommy: "Tay, I think he likes what he's doing.
Maybe you can go play in that room without him."
Taylor: "But Mom, I don't wanna be by myself."
Mommy: "Okay, well I don't think Robbie wants to go."
Robbie, still playing with dishes: "Uh..."
Taylor: "Robbie, are you busy?"
Robbie: "Mmm-Hmmm"
Taylor: "Okay, well I can play with you."

Taylor is sitting on the bed, 
watching Mommy get dressed one morning.
Taylor: "Mom, what's that?"
Points to the slightly outie belly button on Mommy's tummy.
Mommy: "That's my belly button."
Taylor: "No it's not."
Mommy: "What is it?"
Taylor: "Little Buddy is in there."
Mommy: "Oh, well that's true."
Taylor gets off the bed to touch Mommy's belly button.
Taylor: "But Mom, what is THIS?"
Mommy: "Love, that's my belly button."
Taylor: "I think it's Little Buddy's big toe!"

Taylor and Mommy are on the driveway,
Tay riding a bike, Mommy walking around.
Taylor dismounts her bike,
and walks over, looking at the ground.
Taylor: "Mom, what's that?"
Mommy: "That's a rose petal."
Taylor: "Aww, poor rose petal."
Mommy glances inquisitively to see what Tay is thinking.
Taylor: "Oh well. It's gonna miss all it's flower parts!"

FFF time!

As YOU, of course, know well,
it's been a BELATED month of FFF's,
so I thought I'd catch up on the last three weeks
with just one single post
of three week's worth of FFFs!

For the week of July 7-14 we spent several days in Big Sky, MT
enjoying the cooler summer weather,
watching the summer thunder showers
and spending time with lovely Hickle family!

This isn't a SUPER showy pic of the belly,

but Little Buddy was certainly growing!

Little Buddy: 31 weeks in utero
Robbie John: 1 year, 6.5 months
Taylor Lee: 3 years, 6.5 months

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Then just days after returning from Big Sky,
all the Hickles road-tripped down
(and Anna flew)
to Denver and Fort Collins
to spend time with Nate and Tricia,
and we got to go to a Rockies Game while we were there!

The whole Hickle clan was together for those few days
and it was a wonderful time had by all!

Plus this is stadium #11 for Greg and I,
which is something SO fun to slowly mark off our list =)

Little Buddy: 32.5 weeks in utero
Robbie John: 1 year and almost 7 months
Taylor Lee: 3 years, 7 months

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

And now we're just HOME and so enjoying it too!
We should be mostly "trip-less" as a family of four,
as we look forward to so soon becoming a family of five!

Today during the kids' naps
Greg and I vaccuumed out the van,
and then set it up with our THREE car seats!
It's sinking in! He's comin' soon! 

Little Buddy: 33 weeks in utero
Robbie John: 1 year, 7 months
Taylor Lee: 3 years, 7 months

And here's Robbie, enjoying the belly on Mommy =)

The Great Comparison

After last week's FFF

I got a few comments that there 

"must be twins in there!"
seeing as I don't really look just 27 weeks.

And I SO much agree that this time around
the belly is makin' room MUCH earlier for Little Buddy!

So, to research this hypothesis

I thought I'd post the 27 week photo
from being pregnant with Taylor Lee

and there's definitely a difference!

This angle isn't quite as profile-ish, but 

I can tell that I wasn't as big as I am now...

But what about when 

I was pregnant with Robbie John,
you ask... 

and... again not a perfect profile,

but definitely not as big as I am this week!

So there you have it-

living proof that the tummy is bigger this time aROUND! (pun intended)

Little Buddy 

just wants more space to stretch out, right?

However-

twins... I think not!

We've had two ultrasounds,

and the second was quite lengthy,

so I think they'd have spotted a second lil' one in there

if they truly existed!

Here's another lil' comparison between pregnancies:

Taylor Lee: 

took 1 hour glucose tolerance test (GTT) at 26 weeks
and took 3 hour GTT again at 27 weeks

diagnosed gestationally diabetic at 28 weeks
insulin dependent at 29 weeks

Robbie John:
checking sugars since 16 weeks

diagnosed gestational diabetic at 16 weeks
insulin dependent at 16.5 weeks

Little Buddy:
checking sugars since 16 weeks

not yet diagnosed gestational diabetic at 27 weeks!

I have an appointment next Monday
where I'm hoping to get some answers to a few questions I have

regarding the levels my sugars have been thus far,

but I'm pretty encouraged in general,

as I haven't yet sky rocketed in my sugar levels

and have been able to mostly stay on a strict diet,

with a few minor cheats here and there,

without grave consequences in my sugar levels.

My back has it's good and bad days. 

Really trying to be wise

about the time I spend on my feet

or when I choose to pick something up or bend over...

Still sleeping fairly well though,

so I always feel my best in the mornings.

Greg is incredible through all my ups and downs.

At times I'm an easy firework to set off,

and he is so patient with me.

At times I'm in too much pain to cook,

and he figures out how to get fed, kids fed, and me fed!

At times I'm depleted of energy,

and he comes home from a long day of studying

to take the kids on a walk or outside to play.

At times I'm anxious,

and he calms me and prays for me.

So thankful for this gift-of-a-man,

who models Christ's love, forgiveness, service and patience.

I love doing life with you Greg Hickle!!

Thank you for being you!

HAPPY FFF DAY!

Little Buddy: 27 weeks in utero

Robbie: 1 year, 5.5 months

Taylor: 3 years, 5.5 months

Taylor wanted to be her horse and rider for the picture this week!
YEE HAW!