What I Like About (and hope for) You...

In 2017 we started a family tradition 

of spending some time together the night before school, 

talking about what we like about each of the school kids, 

and what we hope for them.

It's been an awesome way to model

encouragement, observation, hope...

cuz we often live without saying these things aloud.
And we then prayed for each other.

So, I'm going to write them here for posterity!

TAYLOR LEE

Jacob notices you are good at sports things, especially throwing the softball
Jacob hopes that you still have fun even with the changes because of corona virus

Dad notices you are accepting more responsibility (like making eggs for us all in the morning)
Dad hopes that you enjoy your last year at Alkali Creek and last year of elementary school

Robbie notices you are funny and like books just like him
Robbie hopes that you will enjoy new and old friends as you finally get to see them

Mom notices you are responsive to correction and truly trying to improve
Mom hopes that your fifth grade year is a good bridge toward your incoming teen years

ROBBIE JOHN

Taylor notices you are determined and like to complete what you start
Taylor hopes that you will enjoy your new class and new-to-our-school teacher

Mom notices you enjoy facts and details and it brings her joy
Mom hopes that you encounter new levels of friendship as you go back into the classroom

Dad notices you are excited for and find joy in new things, especially the details of it
Dad hopes that you continue to learn and grow as a student when you get to class

Jacob notices you are creative, especially at building LEGOs
Jacob hopes that you have fun at recess and sit by friends in class that help you be responsible

JACOB STERLING

Robbie notices you are funny and make him laugh
Robbie hopes that you will have a fun time in first grade

Taylor notices you know how to cheer others up when they are feeling sad, even her
Taylor hopes that you'll make and enjoy wonderful friends

Mom notices you are tender meaning you're patient, kind, sweet and understanding
Mom hopes that you grow greatly in reading and come to enjoy it

Dad notices you are adventurous and like to try new things
Dad hopes that you enjoy and fit into the new Quest classes you get to be part of

Speaking Truth- Starting School Off Right

We decided this year to try something new

and have a little family meeting

the day before school starts,

to point out to each kid

#1: Strengths we see in them

#2: Hopes we have for this year

#3: Things we really like about who they are

I want to preserve this info,

so I thought I'd put it here and 

be able to find it again someday!

Taylor Lee Hickle - 2nd Grade

Strengths In You

Mom sees: You have empathy and care for others,
especially those that are hurting around you

Jacob sees: You play marbles and characters well

Robbie sees: You read really well

Dad sees: You truly love to read and it will
help you a lot in school

Hopes For You

Mom hopes: You will experience God's love in new ways

Jacob hopes: You will be a good listener

Robbie hopes: You will make new friends and have fun
Dad hopes: You will learn to be your own self and

make your own decisions

What We Like About You

Mom likes: How you can see the positive in any situation

Jacob likes: How you are kind to others and a good friend

Robbie likes: How you are a good helper

Dad likes: How much you like other people
and show them that

Robbie John Hickle - Kindergarten

Strengths In You

Mom sees: You can remember quotes and details
about people or characters from shows 

Jacob sees: You are good at playing transformers

Taylor sees: You are a good friend and make new friends
even when at first you feel nervous

Dad sees: You are committed to finishing things
and doing what you say you will do

Hopes For You

Mom hopes: You will find out you're stronger
than you think you are

Jacob hopes: You will make new friends

Taylor hopes: You will be a good example
for all your new classmates
Dad hopes: You will be a good helper for your teacher

What We Like About You

Mom likes: How you care well for each of your friends
and show your interest in them

Jacob likes: How you are fun to play with

Taylor likes: How you are a god friend

Dad likes: How much you love music

Jacob Sterling Hickle - PreSchool (1st yr)

Strengths In You

Mom sees: You are strong and fast and can

use your body to do what you want to do

Robbie sees: You are good at playing legos

Taylor sees: You are a kind person

Dad sees: You learn quickly and understand

things quickly

Hopes For You

Mom hopes: You will do hard things even

with no whining

Robbie hopes: You will make good friends

Taylor hopes: You will be a good friend
Dad hopes: You will have fun learning
and see how a classroom works

What We Like About You

Mom likes: How you make sound effects and 

sing songs cuz you make life more fun

Robbie likes: How you are a good brother

Taylor likes: How you have a good sense of humor

and you make things fun

Dad likes: How much you like to and want to help

Do-It-Yourself

Being new home owners
we are now experiencing for the first time
the freedom and opportunity for 

Do-It-Yourself Projects
and make-it-your-own customization.

So far we've painted some walls,
switched cabinets, drawers and cupboards,
changed the temperature to what we like,
dug up plants we didn't want,
torn out a counter peninsula that was ill placed,

built a three-seater dining bench,
made curtains that fit our needs,
garage-saled for "new" items,
and made a cozy space in the dog's kennel.

I identify with the "DIY" idea
cuz I like to take my time,
spend the money I feel it is okay to spend,
and end up with the product I was dreaming up.
Plus it's fun to "get my hands dirty"
and get involved in the project side of things.

On the Strengths Finder survey
one of my top five strengths is
IDEATION.

This theme can be described as
Delighted when you discover
a simple concept to explain
why things are the way they are.
Always looking for connections
(ideas are connections)
and intrigued when things can be linked.

One of my other top strengths is
STRATEGIC

This theme can be explained as
Loves to create alternative ways to proceed.

Enabled to sort through the clutter
and find the best route.
You see patterns
where others simply see complexity. 

These both ring true for me.
I especially like to "find connections"
when things can be "linked" or "explain why it is that way"
and I love to "find alternative ways to proceed".
I think this is partly why I like to get involved in DIY projects.

Through some work I've gotten to do
in the last few years,
volunteering for a few organizations
(our church in California,
Greg's uncle's mission in the Philippines,
our church in Montana,

and more specifically
on a recent large community event here)

I have been thinking through my strengths,
and where I find myself in my "sweet spot".

I believe God has gifted each of us with
very specific
very unique and
very intentional gifts.

I want to be a woman that chooses to
explore the way He made me,
and then use that for His glory,
to expand His Kingdom,

to love others well,

to love my hubby fiercely,

to raise these kids wisely,

to live my life intentionally.

But I don't wanna
Do-It-All-Myself!

So I'm working on managing
my own thoughts and feelings,
about living life WITH others,
about doing this ALONGSIDE
the other people He has gifted!

And this HAS to move toward
ACTION or it's a moot point!
I need to be dependent on others,
and I need to be available for them too.

A friend recently told me 

about a different perspective 

of Paul's use of the word "body"

when describing the Church
(that's a BIG C intentionally!)
in 1 Corinthians 12.

As a kids and young adult,
when I would read or discuss

being part of the "body" of believers,
with Christ as the Head

I'd focus a on how
some are the foot, some are the ear,
some are the eye, etc.

But there's always been this funny feeling in me
almost like when we focus too much on that
we end up removing ourselves from one another
until really one part of the body
does not "affect" the others, nor resemble the others,
it's all just different parts.

But a friend of mine was reading and studying
and a new perspective was brought up.

Think down to the actual CELL of each part of the body.

An Animal Cell, is an animal cell!

A Skin cell has a different job
than the Brain Cell,
or a cell in the lining of the stomach,
but all are Animal Cells.
Each cell in one body holds the same DNA.

As one of the many animal cells of the Body,
I have much in common with all the other parts.

As I think on the recent news events
particularly the hatred manifested through devious actions,
I just want to shout
WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
And if we are part of the Church,
WE HAVE A TON IN COMMON!

I am sitting here asking myself,
"So what ACTION is next?"
How can I use my abilities,
my circle, my gifts,
my "assignment" in the body
to bring about any sort of influence.
I want to "make connections" and "explain why"
and "create alternative ways to proceed"
and I'm somewhat at a loss!

I don't have any "Strategic Idea"!

But I CAN conclude this:

No one is gonna do-it-by-themselves!
There's no DIY possibilities here.
This is gonna take the whole animal-
no single cell will make enough difference.
It's got to be the head guiding the whole body.

So
Let the Head guide the Body!

I said ACTION must take place...
I commit to these three things
and I hope it moves me toward next steps too!

I will actively love the people in my influence
by pursuing them well
because if we are loved by this same Jesus
hatred, whether passive or aggressive,
has no home here.

I will seek out the Truth,
gaining perspective from His Word,
so I can better know
where the Head is guiding me.

I will spend some more time on my knees
praying that the Body hear the Head,
and choosing to follow His guidance.

Lord help us!

A Non-Return, But I'm Here

I'm most definitely not willing to commit again
but I miss writing here:

Being able to go back and read my thoughts

Processing through my day in concrete ways

Putting words to my heart strings

Connecting myself with those miles away
Using verbs, adjectives and nouns to express inner turmoil

Photographing and sharing the joys of raising kids

Sitting still and typing often

Stalling my bedtime so I can finish my thoughts

Rhyming, writing, imagining

This summer has held much for us,

and I'm working through it
as we figure out how to find balance

amidst a big volunteer job I took on
(which is thankfully now done for this year),
enrollment in a week-long drama camp for Taylor
(which she loved and begged to do again),
softball games for multiple teams for Greg
(which he is currently doing right now),
potential potty training for Jacob
(which he may still not be ready for- so we'll see),
puppy classes and isolation-anxiety for Rocket
(which is getting better as the days roll on),
new Legos and finding Dad's old toys for Robbie
(which is one of my favorite pitches for his voice).

So I'm going to leave this post that simple.
Just a few thoughts.

We'll see if I return any time soon...

An Update? Well-- Sorta!

I know it's been a bit more than a while since the last blog post.

I have SCADS of pictures to organize, share, and get into picture books.

I have LOADS of sweet quotes and sayings from our precious three.

I have BUCKETS of stories I could tell to give you the giggles and maybe shed a tear.

And most likely many of these pictures won't be seen,
these quotes recorded nor these stories told.

And I have to say, "That's Okay" and be done with it.

There's no surviving if I'm always regretting what I can't get done!

So I'm learning to live quite a bit IN THE MOMENT
and love these precious people surrounding me!

Last night,
after I'd lost my patience more than once,
raised my voice to a level I had not hoped to reach,
and frowned more than smiled,
we tucked the kids into bed,
and before we jumped right into family prayer I said,
"Okay guys- Mommy needs us to sing something,
before we start our bedtime routine!"

The song that came to mind?

A classic tune, extra simple lyrics,
but oh so profound for this hairy moment!

"I've got peace like a river,
I've got peace like a river,

I've got peace like a river in my soul!

I've got love like the ocean,
I've got love like the ocean,

I've got love like the ocean in my soul!

I've got joy like a fountain,

I've got joy like a fountain,

I've got joy like a fountain in my soul!"

What a reminder!

Thank you Lord for peace, love and joy.

Thank you for providing these where I so desperately lack.

Thank you for the confidence I have that you will provide.

Fill my soul with greater of these today.

And give me pause before I lose self-control,

to remind me to pull from that peace, love and joy

you've so bountifully given my soul!

Hickles Update

Been Too Long Since I Posted...


So here's a rundown on the five of us!




* Jacob:
Super active.
Has bruises all over, cuz he's SUCH a boy!
Surprises me with his accurate sound effects sometimes.
Has developed a "cute smile" face when he wants something.
Has gotten stronger and longer at throwing fits
Isn't much of a "pasta" kid
Has mastered both spoon and fork
Seems to learn more words every time we turn around
Loves to say the word TWO (just in time for his 2nd bday!)


* Robbie *
Super active.
Obsessed with super heroes (one can usually see him chatting away on his plastic cell phone- he's calling his superhero friends!)
Truly enjoys baseball (playing or watching)
Still cautious around slides, swinging bridges, trampolines or unstable ground
Can't wait to make the preschool HIS school next month!
Still loves the color green, and the number 3
When Greg is reviewing memory verses and he says, "And is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training..." we all pause for Robbie to ALWAYS say "Hey, I'm training! I'm potty training!" It's hysterical, and a little family joke- especially since he's fully independent with the potty!
Has blossomed into a pretty good friend for his buddies- he truly cares for them.


* Taylor *
Super active.
Taking swim lessons three times a week (we're in the middle of her 2nd week, then next is the last week)
Loves to swim under the water
Likes to go to a movie at the theater mostly so that she can dance like a ballerina in the front on the slippery floor during the end credits
Has been eating like a teenage boy recently!
Currently learning when it's not okay to talk back or argue with her folks, or constantly share a DIFFERENT idea than what was just presented
Very creative and imaginative in her play
Looking forward to homeschool and to co-op
Uses huge words and often uses them appropriately


* Greg *
Really loving his work and his co-workers
Often picks up an extra 8 hour shift during the week, so usually works 3 12's plus an 8
Much prefers working days over working nights
Has some shoulder pain that keeps him from playing tennis and is hindering his softball throwing. Currently looking into that with the doctor. Cortisone shot didn't help.
Goes paintballing with a group of guys/gals about every three weeks


* Katrina *
Feeling a bit overwhelmed as the school year draws near
LOVING my teaching team for co-op and learning a lot from them
Feeling like I'm in meetings a lot recently
Helping run the fundraiser for Fruit Bearers (Greg's uncle's mission in the Philippines) again this year
Pulled a muscle in my back a few weeks ago, and still feeling the repercussions of that. Currently it's mostly in my chestbone that the pain affects me. Weird, I know.
Doing two 1 minute planks, plus 30 second side planks daily to strengthen my core. THESE ARE HARD!
Volunteering for the Global Leadership Summit (broadcast to our church) this Thurs and Fri. I'm hoping I can sit in on a few sessions. It's run by the WillowCreek church in Chicago. Very cool conference.
Singing in Worship this weekend. I sing about once a month. Thoroughly enjoying that and learning lots about myself in the process.
Feeling like I truly do have some friends and have begun to create a support system. That feels good!


Okay- gotta sleep. Long day tomorrow!!

Un-For-Give-Ness

Tonight I was braiding Tay's hair before bed in the hallway,
both boys were running around half dressed in PJ's,
and the volume of the household was higher than should be.

Usual bed-time organized chaos.

As I stretched my fingers to grab another strand for Tay's braid
I dropped the comb and it banged loudly on the floor.

Robbie, passing through on his trek from PJ's drawer to toothbrush,
graciously stooped to pick it up and handed it to Tay.

Taylor cried out, "Hey! I wanted to pick that up!"

Two to three minutes later I realized Taylor was silently sulking.

As Robbie squeezed past our perch in the hall Taylor muttered,
"Robbie, just remember THIS as the LAST day I EVER help YOU!"

Um....Whoa, right?

Robbie, unaware of the gravity of her intention, moved on unscathed,
but I fumbled through some lecture,
saying something about always loving your brother.

Then, like an anvil plunked on my chest,
it struck me that what she did was out of UNFORGIVENESS!

My next steps:

Pause.

Pray a "GIVE ME WORDS & HEART!" prayer.

Seize the moment.

Love.
Teach.

Love.

Here's how some of our conversation went,
after we reviewed what had just happened:

Me:
So, Taylor, you had a choice when he picked up that comb.

You could throw a fit and say, "Rooob--bieeeee!!! I wanted to do it!"

You could tattle and say, "Moooom, Robbie picked it up and I wanted to!"
You could be grateful and say, "Thanks buddy!"

You could feel bothered and say, "Thank you. Next time can I pick it up?"
You could feel bothered... and then say something mean to him.

Silence

Me:

You chose to say something mean to him, didn't you?

So when he did something that bothered you,
instead of choosing to forgive him,
you actually chose not to forgive him and
then to say something mean to make him feel bad.

Taylor, what you chose was unforgiveness.

Taylor:
But I really wanted to pick it up.
And he just picked it right up.

That wasn't fair to me.

Me:

So, I see you were bothered by it.

There's not much you can do about that.

But what you CAN do, is choose what to do next.

You could choose to forgive him,
and let him know that next time you'd like to do it.

Or you could choose not to forgive him.

The thing is-- when you don't forgive someone,
it will keep bothering you.

And bothering you.

And bothering you.

And it just keeps bothering you.

Sometimes it even can make people sick
because they keep not forgiving!

Taylor:

But I don't want to get sick!

I don't want that to be in my heart!

Am I going to just keep getting bothered?

Me:

Let's think about that.

God told us he wants us to forgive other people
just like He has forgiven us for ALL our sins!

So, not forgiving someone is a sin.

Can you think of someone that sinned in the Bible.
Like Jonah, let's talk about Jonah.

What did he do?

Taylor:

He sinned. He didn't go where God said.

And then he lived in the
stinky tummy of a whale for THREE YEARS!

Me:

Three days.
*Smile*

And what happened when he was out of the whale?

What did he do?

Taylor:

Then he DID go where God wanted him to go.

Me:

Before he went, he saw that he had sinned
then he chose to talk to God about it.

He realized he was forgiven by God
and then he could go make good choices
to do what God wanted him to do!

Taylor:

Yup, and then he told people what God wanted him to say.

Me:

The incredible thing is,
even though you chose not to forgive Robbie right away,
and you let it bother you and then you said something mean,
you still have the chance to forgive him now!

Like Jonah, you can change and make a good choice!

You can forgive Robbie now!

Taylor:

So I sinned!

*more tears*

And I'm a sinner.

Me:

You are. So am I!

And Jesus died so that you and me could be forgiven!

Even from this sin today!

And then we can change.

We can ask Him to help us make good choices.

How about we talk to Jesus about this, okay?

Taylor:

If you'll help me!

Taylor Repeated After Me:

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

You love me. And I am a sinner.

Today I sinned.

I am sorry I chose not to forgive Robbie.

I want to forgive him.

I need your help to forgive him.

Will you help me?

Thank you for dying on the cross
so that this sin doesn't separate me from you.

Thank you for forgiving me for my sin.

I love you.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

Me:

Do you want to forgive Robbie now?

Taylor:

Yes!

*tears flowing*

And I don't want it to keep bothering me.

Me:

Okay, first you have to forgive him in your heart.

And then we'll call him over to listen to you,
and you can tell him about it, okay?

Silence

Robbie Joined Us

Taylor, Repeating After Me:

Robbie, when you picked up the comb

I let myself get bothered by it

and then I did not forgive you.

Then I said something mean to you.

I am sorry I did that.

I forgive you for picking up the comb.

It's not going to bother me anymore.

Can you forgive me for what I said?

What I said was mean.

I WILL help you again some day.

I am your sister and I love you.

Robbie:

Yes, Tay.

I forgive you!

Hug?

Then-A-Melt-A-Mama's-Heart-Hug

Me:

Taylor!

I'm so proud of you!!

What you just did is something many big people are afraid to do!

After you sinned,
and after you realized you were not forgiving Robbie,

you talked to Jesus about it,
remembered He wants you to forgive,
and then you talked to Robbie about it!

I am SO proud of you!

Taylor Lee, you're teaching Mommy
about some things that I need to get better at too!

Thank you Bug!

We finished the task of getting ready for bed,
said our prayers and sang Jesus Loves Me.

I leaned over to Taylor, and whispered,
"Taylor, Jesus knows all the sins from today.

He knows all that you said and did.

And He LOVES you!

Yes... Jesus LOVES you!

He loves you even more than I do!

That's a pretty incredible God,
to know all our sins and choose to die
so that we can be forgiven
and be a special part of His family!

Jesus LOVES you Tay!"

So I sit here tonight,

convicted,
reveling in the fact that God forgives me,
and choosing to follow the footsteps
of a little five and a half year old girl
that teaches me so much about who God really is!

Teachable moment?

No kidding!



This is Us

I wanna log some blog time!

So here's a simple update on each of the Hickles Five

Greg
1) Work- He enjoys it. He has made some friends with co-workers.
  He has a variety of tasks with all different types of needs for his patients.
  Every day looks different. Every week's schedule is completely different.
2) His shifts vary day and night.
  When he works day shift he leaves at around 6:30am,
  and returns home around 8:00pm.
  When he works night shift
  he comes home in time for breakfast with the kids at around 8:00am,
  and then sleeps until 4:00pm, showers, eats dinner with us
  and leaves for work by 6:30pm
3) He is currently "into" paintball season,
  and trying to find more venues where he can play.
4) He's playing softball again this summer, and his team is quite competitive.
  Looks like they may take the championship based on their current record.
.


Katrina
1) I'm trying to find balance in the midst of a lack of routine.
   My emotions seem to swing as quickly as Greg's schedule changes,
  and I'm trying to find some solid ground.
2) I was listening to a Pandora station yesterday, with "hit" songs,
  and I realized after 4-5 songs that all of them were about people
  who couldn't find satisfaction in who they were-
  and I was thinking about how they (the "royal they")
  don't know who God is,
  therefore they don't know who he made them to be,
  therefore they don't really even know who they are.
  I'm glad that even when things around me feel unsettled,
   I still know who I am cuz I know who He is! Just a musing.
3) I read the book of Hebrews in the MSG yesterday.
  What Christ did for us is AWESOME!
4) I hit a garage sale today
  and got a beautiful real-wood dresser for $25 dollars!
   It'll go in the guest room
   (hint: visit so you can try it out!)


Taylor
1) She is very excited to turn 5 1/2 next month!
2) For her graduation ceremony
  (she has called it her "Congraduation from Pre-school" for the past month!)
  she received her folder of work from the last two years.
  Amazing how quickly time flies!
3) She will be in Kindergarten next year---- at HOME!
  We decided to home school (we're just taking one year at a time).
  We have joined a co-op that meets at our church,
   and we'll have fun "project-themed" group classes there every Monday.
  The boys get to go too, and will get to do some fun activities.
  She has started to tell people
  how proud she is that her mom is gonna be her teacher.
  I'm looking forward to doing life with her
  day-in and day-out this coming year.
4) She "almost" reads-
  she fully understands that the first letter gives the first sound of the word,
  so she just guesses what the rest of it might say.
  She's pretty accurate =). Lol! But it's still just a guess.
  She says she can't wait to start reading all the words in her books.
5) She is a really good big sister,
  and keeps either boy laughing and enjoying life.


Robbie
1) He's such a boy!
  His definite favorite thing is to throw a rock (huge or teeny tiny)
  into any kind of water (puddle, pond, river, stream... anything!).
2) He will start a T/Th Preschool this fall,
  at the same place Tay did hers these last two years.
  He is already talking about how much Mrs. Smith is going to love him.
3) He loves all things super heroes,
  and today decided he wanted to be Hawk-guy
  and that Tay could be Hawk-girl.
  (The real one is actually Hawkeye, but he didn't care!
  He wanted to be Hawk-guy!)
4) He is a creature of habit and routine,
  and loves to have things in order.
5) He especially loves to laugh with/at Jacob and Taylor
6) He is still my cautious one when it comes to heights
  or something that appears dangerous- but he's also strong and adventuresome.
7) He loves to wear ball-caps like Daddy.


Jacob
1) He is changing every time we turn around.
  He now has 3 of 4 eye teeth poking through.
  His back molars are all the way in.
  He's been easy to upset these last few weeks,
  and I think it just has to have been all those teeth!
2) He has fully learned to throw fits.
  He goes "bone-less" and ducks his head down and cries hard.
   But it never lasts longer than 3-4 minutes.
3) He's super into trying to do what his sibs are doing.
4) He's still a MAJOR fan of monkeys,
  and also loves elephants, puppies and any kind of bird.
5) If he got his way, whenever the tv was on it would have Curious George cartoons on!


The Hickles Five
A) We had a "sickness" make it's way through all three kiddos,
  and they coughed for ages,
  had fevers that spiked at night,
  and got sore throats.
  We seem to be mostly past it, and have finally
  put the Tylenol bottle back in the closet
  instead of having it out where we can get to it at a moments' notice!
B) All three of the kids like to go to Garage Sales with me.
  They've been good about learning to "window shop" too,
   without throwing a fit that they didn't get everything that looked interesting.
C) We're also greatly enjoying being outside when it's nice.
   I have such a new appreciation for what SPRING actually means
  after now having lived in Winter!
  We're loving the opportunity to picnic on our lawn,
  or go for a walk after dinner. It's great!
 D) We're looking forward to a 1/2 Bday party for Tay and Robbie,
  a family week up in Big Sky,
  the Little Spurs Rodeo (or Radio- as our kids usually call it)
  swimming lessons,
  and day trips on Daddy's days off to enjoy beautiful Montana.

Inside

There's stuff going on in my insides.

These last few years have held so much transition,

and, as I've showed a bit here on the blog,
we're in yet another state of transition
as we become accustomed to our new current circumstances.

One thing I am specifically sitting in:

How do I navigate the deepest waters?

I do not mean this in a comparison-mode.

No, there'd be no need to judge
whether someone is in deeper than someone else,

whether someone experiences something tougher,
whether someone has it worse or better.

What I wanna describe
is this well of deep water that is haunting sometimes.

I will realize I'm treading water
-another drop in my pool may send me over the edge-
I'm not doing the backstroke
the way I had always thought I would.

I'm not swimming the butterfly stroke like I wish I could.
I'm just focused on keeping my lips above the waterline.
Breathe!


Minutes later it can all change:
my toes dipped in the lapping waves,
my skin warm with the sun's reflection off this water.
A vacation from the whirlpool of the deep.

But the deepest water is my biggest challenge.
It's not an every day experience,
but I want to be best prepared to navigate when it comes!



Some of my thoughts on transition:


1) I need to grieve the past ________ (insert
schedule/space/relationship/church/job/etc)




If I don't acknowledge what I miss about the last stage
then I don't recognize the sadness,
which makes it hard to figure out
why I can't embrace what's new.
I miss the beautiful sunset over the ocean
because I'm focused on ignoring the depth of the water.


2) I need to maintain vulnerability with Greg


It's hard for me to voice my thoughts
when I don't feel like I've completed my process
and drawn a conclusion.
So I end up hiding in my anguish.
This seems to be some of the strongest tidal undertow.
It pulls me away from security and safety.
I become less likely to float back to the top
after a stronger wave washes over me.
Expression, especially to my man, brings perspective
that I cannot get from inside my head.


3) My expectations must be adaptable


Sometimes I'm stuck in one thought process,
and my expectations, although continually unmet,
do not transition with my circumstances.
I cannot control all my expectations,
but I can learn to make them less rigid.
I want to be fluid and be flexible.
I want to move with the ebbs and flows of this water.


4) I may need to remain silent longer
and get better at listening to God


My needs list is easy to rattle off.
My to do list beckons so I can check something else off.
I might have a 15 minute slice of my day
and spend 14.5 of those "doing" (talking, praying, reading).
I believe what I most need in the deep water
is to listen to Him,
let Him guide my thoughts about this flood,
and hear again how much
He values who I am, cares for my wounds and strife,
and will journey with me,
sometimes even helping me walk on water!


5) There is much I am thankful for
and I need to express that aloud


I am in no way in a place where I don't wanna be.
I am surrounded by goodness
in the form of practical and intangible.
There is so much water underneath me,
which I've been able to conquer and float atop.
I need to celebrate all that God has done
to confirm that my current circumstance
is exactly where he wants me.
And I can trust Him because He is faithful!





Am I in over my head?
Sometimes, so I dive, swim back to the top,
and tread water like the best of 'em



Do I remember how to swim?
Yup, even tho' it doesn't always look pretty
and is certainly not winning any Olympic races



Am I in the right pool right now?
Without a doubt



Am I drowning?
Not in the slightest



Do I wanna take another dip?
This water may be fluctuating here and there
but it's where I wanna be!
Better here than in a Fish Bowl,
where nothing ever changes
except the oxygen level in the water.




There's something obviously natural about change.
God created this world to experience it with
seasons
growth
erosion
tides
maturation
redemption



Yup, It's where I wanna be
and I'm so glad I'm not swimming alone!

Good Friday Musings

Tonight we were reading about that blessed dark Friday as a family.
Here's a quote from our favorite Children's Bible:

"Jesus chose to stay there on the cross
and died to save all those who believe in Him.
No one could ever love as much as Jesus.
Then it happened: God poured all of His people's sin
– in the past, now, and forever –
into Jesus' heart.
'Father!' Jesus cried. 'Don't leave me!'
But God had to turn away from all the sin.
And Jesus felt all the dirt of sin
and all the anger of His Father that came with it.
But it wasn't His sin.
It was ours.
Jesus felt it and suffered for it
so that we would not have to."

- - -

Just after I read the part where Jesus cried "Don't leave me!"
Taylor winced and then sobbed aloud, "No! I don't want God to leave Him!!"

With my own tears in my eyes
I read the next line:
"But God had to turn away from all the sin."

My skin tingled and heart raced as we then discussed
how our hearts are naturally dirty
from our bad choices- from our sin!
But Jesus knew that if he stayed there
and let the people be mean to him,
  laugh at him,
  put a painful crown on him,
  whip him,
  hang him on that cross
  and then kill him-
he knew that all those people's sins,
  plus Adam and Eve's sin,
  plus Samson's sin,
  plus Mommy and Daddy's sin,
  plus Tay's own sin-
he knew that all this sin would be put on him
and he would feel God's anger
and would be so dirty
that God would have to turn away from him.

But BUT but
Jesus also knew that if he stayed there,
as God had planned for him to do,
then people who believe He is the Son of God
and ask for forgiveness for all their dirty sin-
these people can then have clean hearts and can be close to God!

Tay chose to pray a few minutes later
to say that she believed in Jesus,
and that she was sorry for all her bad choices
and that she wanted a clean heart too.

As I was tucking her into bed
she grinned from ear to ear
and proclaimed,
"Mom, when I had a dirty heart
and would make bad choices
I couldn't be close to God.
But now I am!
And if I make a bad choice
I can tell him I'm sorry
and He'll forgive me
and then we can be close again!"

AMEN?!?
AMEN!!!

I pray the reality of what He's done (and is doing)
is real to you this weekend
as we sit still long enough to remember
what He CHOSE to endure
in order to pay for all OUR sin
so that we can now go to the Father blameless!

And that's not the end of the story...

Movin' and Shakin'

Rest assured,

Life is SUPER busy
but not a single one of YOU is forgotten!

 

 

Here's a general "Top Ten" list
of what's on our minds and in our lives these days!

 

10) Greg is studying for his NCLEX test.
Last night he received his code to register for his test date.
He'll sign up for a date in mid February.
He'll take his test, pass it, and
almost immediately report for orientation at the hospital!

 

9) We "shopped" rentals in the area briefly
and have signed a lease for a great duplex
just 1.8 miles from Gary and Kathy's,
so about 2 miles from Tay's pre-school,
and 2.3 miles from the hospital where Greg'll work,
and 8.4 miles from church!!

 

8) We are moving TWO WEEKS from today!

I'm busy sorting, packing, and standing in awe
at the fact that we can still make a big mess with what's out
even though a bunch of it is already packed away!
Where does the "end of stuff" begin?

 

7) We are emptying (by "we" I mean the guys mostly)
the storage unit next weekend,
and filling the garage here so we can fill the truck the next week
and take it all to the duplex on the same day.

It'll be like opening wedding presents again!

I'm excited to see what all we "have"!

 

6) Taylor is FIVE, is in preschool for her last "semester"
is super into counting to 100 aloud,
enjoys writing her whole alphabet at a time,
and has specifically gotten more into drawing with detail
and staying in the lines when coloring!

We are currently talking about "tact" and "politeness"
as she's said some awful things about people to their face
(think "fat", "old", "gray", "wrinkles", etc!).
She'll get it. She's such a sensitive soul!

 

5) Robbie is THREE, is in the big boy class at church,
still favors the number 2 over any number,
loves the color green, but also likes "dark" (black),
and his new favorite letter is Q. But only the capital Q!
He is officially potty trained!
We had him in awesome super hero undies,
but his skin isn't handling the elastic,
so we're back in pull-ups.

We've been accident free for over a week!

The other night his prayer before bed was,
"Dear Jesus,
Thank you for you being a baby.
And thank you for your Father God.
And for your family, Mary, and your other dad Joseph.
In Jesus Name, Amen!"

 

4) Jacob is ALMOST ONE AND A HALF,
wears size 4 diapers, loves to eat and eat and eat,
has a sense of humor now,
loves to "cheers" when anyone is drinking anything,
takes 1-2 naps per day
depending on our morning outings.
He sleeps through the night about twice a week.
He just moved into mostly 18month clothes!
He's growing SO much!

We're transitioning to all three kids in one bedroom
when we move into the duplex...
Let's hope we still get some sleep!

 

3) My incredible husband sent me KIDLESS to
Northern Cali to visit with my folks,
my brother Caleb and his family,
and both my Gowan and Hillis grandparents!

Plus I got to see scads of aunts, uncles,
cousins and 2nd cousins!

My heart had been hurting as I pictured not seeing any of them
knowing my parents were State-side,
and let me tell you,
I've got an amazing Hubby that doted on me!

I'm feeling blessed!

(Pictures to come... SOMEDAY!)

 

2) Christmas here in Billings was wonderful.
We had most of the Hickles here,
although we sorely missed Nathan and Tricia,
who celebrated in Minnesota this year.
There was a big amount of snow on Christmas Day
so we awoke to a white wonderland outside!

Christmas with a 5, 3 and 1 year old
is some AWESOME times of excitement!

 

1) This 2015 is a year full of transition for us.

As we reflect on all  we've experienced,
through God's provision and the generosity of others,
even through the government financial help we've received,
we can't help but turn and THANK HIM,
and then bless His name and remember Him
as we move into our next stage of family life!

Thank you for walking this journey with us!

Friends and Family are one of God's greatest provisions!

 



Advent 2014

As we anticipate all that Christmas brings
(Here at our house it's two birthdays
in addition to Jesus' birthday!!)
it's just so easy to focus on what we GET and end up lost!
So in order to help focus the kids (and in turn MY SELF!)
I made these simple ornaments to go with each story.
We read an Old Testament story every day starting on Dec 1,
and then the Annunciation on the 24th,
and His birth on the 25th!!

This year I used the Jesus Calling Kids Bible.

I really like how much more of the OT stories they included!

I couldn't even get them to all fit into 23 days!!

Without further delay, here's our 2014 Advent in Review
in the Kid-Terms we've been using this year!

God created the sun, moon, stars, water and plants.

Then God made the animals,

and then he made his favorite thing: the humans!

*This is where Robbie shouts ADAM AND EVE!*

God gave them a rule: eat all the fruit except from one tree.

The serpent came and lied to Eve,
but she chose to believe the serpent instead of trusting God.

She ate the fruit and Adam did too.

They sinned.

Their bad choice had consequences, and they had to leave the garden.

But God had a plan for how he would save his people.

Adam and Eve had kids.
One of their sons got jealous and killed one of the other sons.
People kept having kids, and people kept making bad choices.
God decided it was time to have a consequence for everyone.
But there was one man that was different, named Noah.
Every time he made a bad choice he talked to God,
said he was sorry (repented) and tried not to do it again.
Noah trusted God.
So God had him build an ark to save the animals
and to save his family.

People had more kids and there were lots more people.

Again, they were making bad choices.

They thought they could be better than God,

and started to build a tower as high as they could
so they could reach Heaven.
God is the only true God,
and he mixed up their languages so they couldn't keep doing it.
They were prideful, but when they couldn't speak to each other
they stopped building and many moved away.

Then we meet a man named Abram and his wife Sarai.

God promised Abram that he would make his family
as many as the stars in the sky.
And then he changed their names to Abraham and Sarah.

They thought it was strange that they would have a big family

because they were already old and didn't have any kids yet.
But God had a plan.

God kept his promise!

They had a little baby and named him Isaac.

Then God asked Abraham to give Isaac back to him.
Abraham trusted God, so he took Isaac
to give him back to God, but then God sent a ram
(a big horn sheep) so that Abraham could use that instead.

God would send someone else many years later

to show how much he loved his people.
It is all part of his big plan to save them from their sins!

Isaac married Rebekah.

They had two sons, Jacob and Esau.
Jacob tricked his dad into giving him a big family blessing.
Then Jacob had a dream and God spoke to him,
and then God gave him a new name- Israel.
Jacob married two women- Leah and Rachel.
He then had 12 sons.

One of the youngest sons of Jacob was Joseph.

His older brothers did not always make good choices.
They were jealous of him and their dad,
so they sold him to other people and lied to their dad.
But Joseph continued to make good choices.
Even when other people around him tried to change that.

God blessed him and he began to be a powerful man in Egypt.

When his brothers came to Egypt to try to get some food,

instead of being angry with them,
Joseph forgave them and invited them to stay.

The twelve sons of Jacob (Israel) had big families,

and soon there were a lot of Israelites.
The Pharoah of Egypt got scared of how many there were
so he made a rule that all the Israelite baby boys had to be killed.
One mother hid her baby, and then put him in a basket
and floated him in the river.
The princess of Egypt found the baby and named him Moses.
She raised him in the palace.
When he was older he made a bad choice and killed a man,
He ran away from home and became a shepherd in the desert.
One day a burning bush spoke to him. It was God.

God told Moses to go tell Pharoah to let the Israelites go.

Moses obeyed God and asked Pharoah to let the Israelites go.

Pharoah said no.

Moses asked 10 times and Pharoah said no.
Each time something bad happened to Egypt.
The water turned red, there were frogs, flies, bugs,
hail, dead animals and more.
Then the last time Moses went to ask Pharoah,
he told him that if he didn't let them go
then the oldest boy in every family would die!

Still Pharoah said no.

God also told Moses how he wanted to save his people.

Each of the Israelite families could put a lamb's blood
on their door posts and paint it on there

and then their sons would not die.

That night the Egyptian oldest boys died, but the Israelites did not.

When Pharoah saw that his own son died,

he said the people could go!

So they did. They grabbed their stuff

and even the Egyptians gave the Israelites their money
and then they walked to the edge of the Sea and
didn't know how they would get across it!

Then God made the waters open and made a dry path

so the Israelites could walk across it!

Back at the palace Pharoah was changing his mind.

He sent his army to run after them to stop them.

When the Israelites were through the Sea

it closed back up and killed all Pharoah's army with the water.

A few days later the Israelites were hungry

and wondering why God brought them out of Egypt.
They were complaining.

God sent them bread from the sky called manna.

Then God wanted to give them some rules.

He met with Moses for 40 days on the mountain

then he wrote 10 Commandments on the stones.
These rules would help them obey God,
and protect them from bad choices.

Moses sent twelve spies into the land God promised them.

When they came back they brought grapes that were huge.
Two of the spies said the land was great
but the other ten only talked about how afraid they were.
The two spies, Joshua and Caleb, said "We can do it! God is on our side!"
The other ten spies said, "No, the people are giants! We can't do it!"
God told Moses that all of the men
except for Joshua and Caleb wouldn't get to go to the Promised Land.
They would wander in the desert for 40 years,
and only their kids would get to go in.

When it was time to go to the Promised Land

Joshua had become the leader of the Israelites.
They needed to fight and beat the city of Jericho.
God told Joshua to have the people march around the city
one time every day for six days.
Then on the seventh day they marched around it seven times.
After the last time they blew their horns,
and then gave a big shout
and the walls came tumbling down!

(TWO STORIES IN THIS ONE ORNAMENT)

The Israelites had to keep fighting other groups of people too.

There was a big group of people called the Philistines.

God gave the Israelites a leader named Samson.

He was strong with God's power,

but was supposed to never cut his hair.
When his girlfriend asked where his power came from
he knew he shouldn't tell her, but he did anyway.
She helped the Philistines know to cut his hair.

The Philistine people captured him since his strength was gone.

They laughed at him, made him blind,
and took him to their temple (church) to make fun of him.
He prayed to God, said he was sorry,
and asked God for the strength to do one last thing.
Then he knocked the pillars down in the temple
and the whole building fell and killed all the Philistine leaders.
Samson died too.
God used Samson to help save his Israelite people.
- - - -
In another area some years later a woman named Naomi
was sad because her husband and two sons died.
Her daughter-in-law, Ruth, stayed with her
and said she wanted to help her.
Ruth followed Naomi to her cousin's house,
and since they had no food to eat Ruth stayed in the fields
and picked the grain left by the farmers.
The head farmer, Boaz, noticed her.
He told his helpers to give her enough food to eat
so she could take some back to Naomi too.
Later Boaz fell in love with Ruth and they got married.
God would use their son Obed, then Jesse, then David.
God's plan was in motion through all of these people.

There was an Israelite woman named Hannah

that really really wanted to be a Mommy.
She prayed at the Temple (church) that God would give her a baby
and Eli the priest (like a church teacher) heard her prayer.

She prayed that she would give the baby back to the church

if God would let her be a Mommy.
God heard her prayer, and listened to her heart of prayer.
He answered her by giving her a baby she named Samuel.
So Samuel grew up at the church with Eli.

One night he heard someone calling his name.

He checked to see if it was Eli,

but Eli realized it was really God calling Samuel,
so he told him to say, "I'm here God. I'm listening."
Samuel did, and God gave him a message.
Samuel learned to listen to God.

God also listens to us and wants us to tell him

what we're feeling in our hearts.
And God speaks to our hearts when we choose to listen to him.

Samuel grew up and God used him to speak to the Israelites.

God told Samuel to go to a father named Jesse

and see all of his sons, to choose the next king of Israel.
(Remember Ruth? She was Jesse's grandma!)

Samuel went and saw the big, strong, handsome boys

and figured it would be one of them.

But God told him it wasn't any of them.

Then Samuel asked Jesse about any other sons.

Jesse said he had a youngest son working with the sheep in the field.

When Samuel met that son, David,

God told him that David would be the next king
because he had a heart that wanted to know and trust God.

David didn't become king right away though.

There was another king of the Israelites, named King Saul.

King Saul and David's older brothers were fighting in a war

with the Philistines who had a giant warrior named Goliath.

All the Israelite soldiers were scared of him.

David was bringing his brothers some lunch

when saw how scared everyone was.

David truly trusted God, so he said, "I'll try to kill Goliath!"

He was a little boy but he got his slingshot
and prayed that God would help him
and then he swung his slingshot and a rock went up
and hit Goliath in the head and killed him right away!

This time God worked through David

to save the Israelites!

David grew up and became king.

Sometimes he made big mistakes,

but when he did he said he was sorry to God (repented)
and chose to trust God!

He wrote lots of songs and poems

praising God for who He is and all He's done.
He often wrote that God is like a shepherd to His people.

Years later God spoke to a man named Jonah.

He told Jonah to go to a place called Ninevah

to tell the people there to stop making bad choices
and to turn to trust God!
Jonah didn't want to do that because
he thought God shouldn't give those people another chance.

He ran away in a ship the other way.

But God sent a storm. The sailors threw Jonah into the water.

The storm stopped immediately.

God sent a big fish to swallow Jonah

and keep him a live in the tummy of the fish!

For three days Jonah lived in that stinky place

and told God he was sorry for running away!

Then the fish spit Jonah onto the beaches

and Jonah chose to go obey God:
to tell the people of Ninevah they needed to obey
or God would send big consequences.

To Jonah's surprise, the people said they were sorry,

and changed so they would now make good choices!

Years later God used another man to speak to His people.

Isaiah was a prophet too, and God used him

to write down a message to His people.

Isaiah wrote about God's love for His people,

and Isaiah also wrote about some of God's plan.

"For unto us a child is born..."

Isaiah didn't know exactly what it meant,

but now we know that the child would be Jesus, the Son of God!

Years later some of the Israelite boys were taken

away from their families,
and had to live in a different place called Babylon.
Daniel was one of those boys.

While he was there he remembered what his parents taught him,

and tried to make good choices.

Daniel remembered God and what he knew about him,

and prayed to God every day.

The king of Babylon wanted the people to pray to him

instead of praying to God.

Daniel knew that wasn't right, so he still prayed to God.

The king liked Daniel, but had to keep his laws,

so he said Daniel had to be put into the Lion's Cave
because he wasn't obeying the rules.

God saved Daniel by closing the lion's mouths.

The next day the king told all the people of Babylon
that the God of Daniel and the other Israelites
must be a powerful and good God because of what he'd done.

Still years later bad guys chased the Israelites out of their land again!

A poor girl named Esther was very smart and pretty.
The king of that land chose to marry her.
Esther's cousin, Mordecai, told her
to keep it a secret that she was an Israelite.
Haman was a man working for the king,
but he chose not to follow God,

and he hated all the Israelites!

Esther trusted God, and when the time was right
she told the king her secret!

The king punished Haman for his bad choices,

and was very kind to all the Israelite people.

Esther trusted that God would protect her,

and then God used her to save his people.

Many years later a young lady named Mary

had an angel visit her!

God picked just the right parents for his plan.

The angel told Mary not to be afraid,
because God was pleased with her,
and wanted to use her for his plan.
Mary wondered how it would all work out,
but she chose to be grateful and trust God.
She would become a Mommy to a little baby
that would change the world forever!
She was to name that baby Jesus.

He's born!

Before even creation began

(before that first ornament!!)
God had a plan to send Jesus into the world
to save His people from their own bad choices!

We celebrate Christmas

because we're glad God chose to save us from our sin!

We have hope and peace because of God's great gift!

Both the poorest people (shepherds) and the richest (wise men)
came to see Jesus and were excited
because God had sent His son to save the world!

Here's a video I found on YouTube.

I love how it recaps
how we have waited for Jesus!
COME, THOU LONG EXPECTED JESUS!!! 

Remember, to view the video you will need to go to our site!
hickles.blogspot.com



May your day be blessed
as we celebrate the fact
that God has chosen to save us,
because of His great love for us,
despite our bad behavior!
Jesus left the glories of Heaven
to become a helpless, needy, little baby.
Why?
Cuz God loves you and me!!
Merry Christmas!