FFF

Here's our funny facial expressions

during today's FFF shoot!

You see, Taylor has learned to say

"Cheese!"

 

And here's the official FFF for week 31!

Lil' Bro is growing in all his glory!

Can't believe how big I feel I get EVERY day!

He's over 3 lbs,

I've graduated past the next mark on the scale at the doc office,

and my back feels it!

Christmas couldn't come soon enough!

Just in case you're wondering,

no, there was NO FFF last week...

It just never happened.

Rest assured,

we intended to take a pic,

just never had all three of us

dressed and available for a picture

at the same time!

I had some funky breathing issues last weekend,

and my chest was hurting a lot,

which scared us both,

but we got to talk to the doc on the phone

and he said to keep an eye on it,

and to rest up,

but that he wasn't worried about me or Lil' Man.

So I laid on my side for the weekend...

Anyway, it hasn't returned since last Monday.

We're praising God for his provisions,

and for such wonderful healthcare available to us!

This week starts my 6 appointments a week!

2 NST's

(Non Stress Tests to monitor Lil' Man's Heart and my Contractions)

1 U/S

(Ultrasound to monitor Lil' Man's growth and organ development)

1 OB

(Obstetrician appointment to keep me in touch with my doc)

1 Endo

(Endocronologist to keep my insulin and blood sugar levels in tact)

1-2 Lab

(Between the Endo and OB they ask for a lot of my blood

to keep tabs on my iron, sugars, glyco, CBC and others)

Like I said...

Christmas couldn't come soon enough!

=)

Thanking...

I'm thanking God tonight
for all the time I got to spend with Taylor this weekend.
We played peek-a-boo forEVER!
She likes to play under the sheets on our.
"Pee-boo!"
We played and danced
to her new "Dance Mix" CD
that her Daddy made for her.

I'm thanking God tonight
for the incredible husband he's gifted me,
and how meaningful and satisfying it is,
when Greg and I realize we are on the same page
and in all this together.

I'm thanking God tonight
for a job that I do enjoy,
where I get to reach and teach kiddies,
and watch lightbulbs goin' off in their heads!

I'm thanking God tonight
for the health and growth of our
Little Man Hickle,
and how we are able to afford
the healthcare needed
in order to take care of him and me
with this diabetes and all.

I'm thanking ....

Adventures with Diabetes

So, just after posting how funny a pregnant brain can be
at forgetting important things
I decided to eat my bedtime snack (it's mandatory)
and give myself my bedtime insulin.
I take two kinds of insulin.
I know I've explained this before,
but this story will make NO sense
if you don't understand the two-insulin-concept!

I have a pen of "Slow-to-act" insulin.
This is called NPH.
No, I don't know what it stands for off the top of my head.
The pen has the whole name inscribed on it.
I take this insulin twice a day.
2 cc in the morning when I wake up
and 8 cc at night just before bed.
The point is to keep my blood sugar low for the whole day.
It lasts for 10ish hours,
so it just keeps a general lower blood sugar, which is manageable.

I have a pen of "Quick-to-act" insulin.
This is called the N pen or KWIKpen.
This pen I use three times a day.
3 cc in the morning
(but it can be more if my glucose reading was higher than 80)
6-8 cc before lunch
(it all depends on my glucose reading right before eating)
and then 6-8 cc before dinner.
It lasts 2-4 hours so you take it when you're going to eat a meal,
and it acts quickly.
So quickly in fact, that the dietician
told me to be sure I cook and prepare my plate,
THEN give myself the shot,
then eat...
cuz if I give the shot, then go prepare my plate
I could hit a sugar low in the mean time.

Okay, now that you understand my "Quick" and "Slow" insulin,
I'll show you a pic of how different the two pens look.

As you can see.
They are very different colors.
There are different ways to count the cc's you need
and the insulin inside looks very different from each other.
The light one (the slow)
is cloudy, and has to be shaken before injected.
The dark one (the quick)
is clear, and I just count out the cc's and inject.

But there are similarities between the two.
They are both the same size.
I use the same needles for them.
I keep them in the same spot in my back pack,
and in the morning when I get up
I basically give myself some of both of them,
but then only use one or the other
for the rest of the 3 injections throughout the day.

I think you can guess what I'm getting at.
My mishap:

Last night I was tired, pregnant, sleepy,
and decided to eat my bedtime snack
but then remembered
I needed to check my sugars and give insulin first.
So, while my high protein, high fiber, low carb cereal
sat with milk already poured on it
I quickly checked my blood sugar and recorded it,
grabbed the insulin pen,
opened the needle,
and injected the 8 cc's.

Yes, you guessed correctly.
In my haste
I injected the wrong one.
But I had not noticed.

I ate my cereal,
we cleaned up the kitchen real quick
(N&L we are SO adopting your SURGE word!)
and then we headed to bed.
Just as I laid my head on the pillow
I sat up quickly and proclaimed,
"Greg, I think I injected the wrong insulin again!"
(yes, again... I did it once while we were in WI too)

So we decided we'd go to bed,
but I would set my phone alarm for an hour from when I gave the shot
so I could check to be sure if I had given myself the right or wrong one.
About 40 minutes later my alarm went off,
I checked, and my sugars were high, not low
(if I'd given quick I think it woulda been low
cuz I didn't eat enough carbs for how much insulin I took).

So, we decided I must have given the correct insulin,
and we both went back to sleep.
Two hours later I awoke,
needing to use the restroom
(this is not uncommong with a prego bladder)
and realized I was quite shaky!
So I decided to check sugars.
They were a bright bold 37!
This is dangerously dangerously low!
So I asked Greg to come out to the living room with me
and I had him basically give me 2 meals worth of carbs.
I had a glass of milk (1 serving carbs)
a piece of bread  (1 serving carbs)
with REAL fruit jam and lots of peanut butter (1 servings carbs)
a 1/4 cup icecream (1 serving carbs)
a cup light juice (1 serving carbs)
1 more piece of bread with peanut butter (1 serving carbs)

My whole body was in a crazy shake and sweating profusely.
I've been told I'm lucky I awoke
as that low of sugars can actually be near acoma!
Agh, it's time to start WATCHING what I'm DOING
while I'm DOING it no matter how TIRED I am!

But I'm thankful it was all just a mishap
and that everything turned out okay!

Today I'm just playing catch up.
Catching up on sleep,
catching up with the slow insulin,
and fighting high sugars due to my awful mishap last night.

Oh the joys of diabetes!
I just have to choose to laugh at myself!

Diabetic Cheesecake

So when it comes to being diabetic
there are a few things I just WISH for
but know that I can't indulge,
due to Little Man Hickle
and his growin' lil' body inside me.

There are days where this is not a difficult choice at all.
Still, at times, I crave something
and feel I need to satisfy the sweet tooth somehow!

When counting carbs (as diabetics do),
I think the biggest thing that surprises people
is that fruit is a BIG TIME carb!
One slice of melon is equivalent to 1/3 cup of pasta!
One small tangerine equals 1 cup of oatmeal!
Two tablespoons of raisins is the same as 3 cups of popcorn!
And apples and bananas are strictly forbidden,
as they have so much sugar and starch in them!

But there are a few fruits that are better...
Blueberries have quite a bit of fiber in them,
and therefore I can eat more of them for a serving of carbs!


So I decided to come up with a "dessert" that I could make
using splenda, limited carbs, and blueberries!

I was sitting in one of my doc's waiting rooms,
and picked up an old magazine (circa January I think)
and so I didin't feel as guilty
when I saw this ad for Philadelphia Cream Cheese
that showed a cheesecake recipe that I thought I could adapt...
so I tore it out of the magazine...eek! Don't tell!

And I came up with this scrumptious treat
that I can eat, and it doesn't affect my blood sugar AT ALL!
I mean AT ALL!

So I'm gonna include the diabetic recipe here,
but I'll add the regular ingredients as well.
Diabetic will be in normal font, and regular in italics.

Diabetic Vanilla Mouse Cheesecake
adapted from spreadphilly.com's Philadelphia Vanillla Mouse Cheesecake

If making it regular, you'll make a wafer crust.
40 vanilla wafers, crushed (about 1 1/2 cups)
3 Tbsp. butter or margarine, melted.
Mix wafer crumbs and butter; press onto bottom
of 9-inch springform pan.

If diabetic, skip the above *smile*

Heat oven to 325 degrees.
Grease 12 cupcake tin cups
(or use cupcake liners)

Beat 1 and half pkg cream cheese
3/8 c. granulated Splenda (1/4 + a bit)
1/2 Tbsp vanilla with mixer until well blended.
Add 1 egg
Mix on low speed just until blended.
Fill cupcake cups NO MORE THAN HALF.
For regular cheesecake,
double cream cheese, use 3/4 c. sugar, and 3 eggs.
Pour over crust.

Bake for 17-20 minutes
or until barely brown on the top,
and mostly set in the middle.
They will "fall" a little in the middle,
which I thought was a perfect little "cup"
for spooning the blueberry mix when they've cooled.
For regular cheesecake
Bake 50-55 minutes,
run knife around rim of pan to loosen cake
and cool completely in pan.

In sauce pan,
1/4 c. blueberries (reserve another 1/4 c. on the side)
1/4 c. "Splenda" juice (they sell it in the juice aisle,
but it doesn't have any real fruit in it-- it's glorified KoolAid)
1 tsp Vanilla
1 Tbsp Splenda, granulated
Stir and let it warm up.
Smash blueberries using a potato masher.
Then in separate bowl stirl 1 and half Tbsp cornstarch
with 2 Tbsp more Splenda Juice and add to the sauce pan.
When thick, add other 1/4 c. blueberries, reserving 12 berries for topping.
(I think I would like to add some Lemon Juice and Zest next time, Mmm!)
Let cook until thick. Cool in pan.

The regular cheesecake recipe doesn't call for blueberries,
but you could always adapt the above to include regular sugar and juice...

Beat remaining 1/2 pkg cream cheese,
3 Tbsp Splenda (granulated)
1 tsp Vanilla with mixer.
Whisk in 1/2 c. whipped topping (sugar free)
(Again, I think I'd like to add a little Lemon Zest here!)
Put it into a piping bag.
Remove cupcakes from tin, place in coverable dish.
Spoon blueberry topping onto cooled cupcakes.
Pipe whipped topping over each cupcake.
Top with a blueberry and a litlte more Zest for fun.
Refrigerate, covered, for at least 4 hours.

For regular cheesecake,
Beat 1 pkg cream cheese,
1/4 c. Sugar
1 tsp vanilla with mixer.
Whisk in 1 c. (8 oz) whipped topping.
Spread over cooled cheesecake,
Refrigerate for at least 4 hours.
Remove rim of pan before serving.
Garnish with berries if desired.

Enjoy!
For regular cheesecake,
Enjoy!

This was relatively cheap,
SO yummy
and practically no carbs...

Now if only I could get Greg to enjoy creamy things...

While at Philly's website
I also found an option to include peanut butter in the cheesecake.
Maybe I'll try this next time,
following most of this recipe's diabetic guidelines...
I'll let ya know how it turns out!

Breaktime

Well it's breaktime in the pictures from Gowanfam time...
Cuz it's "journeying" time!

I don't know if many of you have noticed,
but at the bottom of every post
I tag it with subject/category
so that I can either navigate back to things easily,
or I can see if I'm dominating a certain topic a lil' too much.

Anyway,
I have several under "journeying"
which I use to umbrella any and all things I blog about
that have to do with my walk with the Lord,
struggles I'm walking through,
things I'm learning
about me, about marriage, about parenting, about God,
and probably other things too.

So this is a journeying post!

I have once again been diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
I had it with Taylor's pregnancy as well.
I'll link a few posts from that time:

First Appointments
and
Starting Insulin
and
Too Many Appointments
and
Lessons I Learned

If you go back and read those
(you don't have to, just if you wanna)
you can see that this time is MUCH earlier
than it was last time.
This time I'll have nearly 6 months of insulin
where last time was just under 3 months.
And this time the thought
of eating peanut butter
or crackers and cheese
makes me cringe-
knowing I'm just gonna get so sick of it.

But this time
I know the light at the end of the tunnel,
and what it looks like.
And this time I'm so excited to feel better soon!
And this time I'm not afraid of the needles...

I'm on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster,
and my incredible husband
is my favorite comfort.
I'm thanking God for him- again!

All that to say,
I ask for your prayers,
I thank you for your support,
and I am grateful you share my journey with me.

Have You Been Praying?

I title this with a question:
"Have you been praying?"
Cuz I am feeling God's spirit
comforting mine
as the worry and anxiety
melts away
little by little
and the tougher fears are
chipped away
chunk by chunk.

And if you've been praying for us
I wanna thank you!
God's answering
and He's here
and I'm so glad he is!

Baby Girl didn't gain more than
ONE OUNCE this week
and both U/S tech
and OB doc
were pleased with that.
They are saying she's
just right
these days
and that's a comfort!

I'm planning on
kicking out
a bunch of thank you cards
this week,
but I wanted to just say
THANKS
to so many of you that have
sent gifts of love and blessing
to our little girl
(and to US!)
cuz we're feeling very blessed.
THANK YOU!

Our apt is decorated
for Christmas this year!
This is the first time
that I actually REALLY spent time
putting up decorations
and makin' it feel
"Christmasy"
in here!
So fun!
I'll take photos prolly this weekend.

Love you guys!
Each of you!
Thanking the Lord
for your part in our lives!

Ultra

I know, I know
I'm ultra late with this post...
but maybe I've just been ultra busy
hanging out with family
and having an ultra good time!

Lol

Here's the lastest picture we have of Baby Girl.
Can you tell what you're looking at?

Try this one

The two are in succession,
one right after the other.

I'm posting a picture with "labels"
at the end of the post...
So those of you with criss-crossed eyes
can know for sure
if what you think you see
you actually see!

Baby Girl is getting big.
I find it a sensitive subject sometimes
as I think my "biggest worry"
these days is her size
and her health
regarding my levels of blood sugar.
Lately it's been
unpredictable,
frustrating,
confusing...
I'll eat something I think will skyrocket me
and end up with pretty low sugars.
I'll eat the SAME thing the next day
and watch my sugars fly!
I have an appt tomorrow,
and I'll be asking him
for maybe some clarification
on what the different factors might be.

Baby Girl
is most DEFINITELY movin'
these days.
I would like to dub her
a marathon runner!
The other day she went
a full two hours
WITHOUT EVER STOPPING!
I laughed with Greg
that it's kinda like
at first I giggle
almost like she's tickling me
and I watch her
and it tickles my heart
but then...
then I just sorta begin to feel
like my nerves
get NO peace
as my muscles begin to twitch,
desiring rest!
We wanna watch her
"run her marathons"
outta this womb!

I'm definitely in a state
at least today
where I'm wishin' her outta me
and want to hold her
watch her
see her
hear her
hug her
kiss her
watch Greg with her
watch her with Greg.

The day will come so soon!

Alright,
without further ramblings,
let me give you
the labeled picture!

Her arm is over her forehead area,
and she brought it down in the second photo above,
and licked it,
and then smacked her lips.
OH MY GOODNESS
this mother's heart skipped a beat
as I watched her be ultra cute
even before ever seeing the light of day!
Her little cheeks are filling out
and getting ultra cute n' chubby.

Enjoy your Monday evening!
I'm off to find dinner.
(btw- she has the hiccups
and they're ULTRA strong these days!)

Lessons

This whole gestational diabetes fiasco
has led me to learn a lot.

I've learned what my cells are doing.
I've learned how to give myself shots.
I've learned what the insulin in the shots is doing.
I've learned to be able to read my "feeling"
to know if my sugar levels are high or low.
I've learned how to keep myself organized enough
to remember to do all this new stuff at the right time.
I've learned to rely on lists.
I've learned that I need to grieve the little things
that I lose, even if only lost temporarily.
I've learned to compare these disciplines
with my walk with God, and the disciplines needed there.
I've learned that my hubby is even MORE incredible
than I thought he was before!
I've learned that some things that seemed so important
aren't as necessary as I thought they were.
I've learned that I can and will be able to
handle more than I thought.
I've learned and observed how much I already
care for this little one inside me!
I've learned that I can draw boundaries around me
where I need to, stick to them, and will come out
a better, happier, more patient person on the other side.
I've learned I need to stop sometimes,
just breathe, grieve, thank Him, and push forward.
I've learned sometimes I need to ask for help.
I've learned sometimes I don't need to ask for help.
I've learned how to discreetly make myself bleed
without anyone around me even being aware
so that I can check my sugar levels when I need to.
I've learned I'm not alone as I walk through this.
I've learned to appreciate some things
I always took for granted.
I've learned to cook with Splenda.
I've learned to make some of the "same stuff"
taste different each time I eat it.
I've learned to measure my food differently.
I've learned to rest when needed.
I've learned to listen to my body with new ears.
I've learned that an ever growing, ever changing body

needs ever growing, ever changing maintenance.
I've learned that an ever growing, ever changing spiritual life
needs ever growing, ever changing maintenance.
I've learned that I'm still learning...

My Magic Number.... 6

So I know it's the middle of the week
so you're all incredibley surprised
to receive an email
from the HICKLE BLOG!
Well today's your lucky day!

My leadership class at church (L3)
was moved to last night
because two people couldn't make it Thursday
so tonight Greg is at his softball game
but I am just home,
and enjoying
my feet up
my mind escaping
my brain just watchin' reruns
and my fingers now typin' to you!

So...
My Magic Number... 6
Tuesday I had an OB appt.
And while there he told me
that I'm doing "well" with my sugars
and that he thinks Baby Girl
will most likely be an average size,
if not even a little small.
However, he wants to do extra monitoring
so...

He's going to have me come into the office
to do two NST (Non-Stress-Test) per week
to do one U/S (Ultrasound) per week
to do one OB (Obstetrician) per week
and that's
on top of having
to do one ENDO (Diabetes Doc) per week
to do one LAB (Bloodwork) per week

Add 'em up kids...
That's right!
SIX DOC APPT PER WEEK!
Crazy?
Yes.

So what are these appointments?

A Non-Stress-Test
They'll strap a Fetal Heart Monitor
onto my belly
and I'll sit or lay down,
and every time she moves
I'll click a button.
They will then compare the timing of her movement
to her heart rate,
to check that her heart rate goes up
when she's moving.
These are supposedly short appts,
with little waiting room time.

Ultrasound

These are routine
at about week 18 and week 36
but he's adding a weekly one
from now until delivery
because he wants to keep an extra eye on
her growth
her development
her etc...
These appointments shouldn't be too long
as the U/S appts I've had before
are generally only about 10 min. wait.
(Plus these are fun appointments,
cuz we get an extra peek at lil' Babe
and Greg will come to those with me!)

Obstetrician
These weekly appointments
are routine for a 35 week preggers.
So, nothing surprising there.
These appointments have about 1 to 1 & half hr waiting time
and only last about 8-10 minutes in the Exam Room.

Endocronologist
He has to monitor my sugar and insulin
every week
because of Baby Girl's rapid growth
(her growth is just cuz of the stage,
not cuz of the diabetes--
at least not yet)
These appointments are super long
cuz he's a really good doctor
and has a lot of patience in the exam room
but it makes his waiting room LONG!

Lab
My Endo doc is generally a lil' lab-rat!
He loves to test his patients
so that he can cover all his bases.
You wouldn't believe how many viles
of my blood he's had tested in the last
THREE WEEKS
since I became one of his patients!
But it's all so that he can better take care
of me and Baby Girl.
Still- I have to go into the lab
on a day when I don't have another appt
cuz he wants the labs
about halfway between the appts I have with him.

And there you have it.
Six.

Free?

I'm gonna have pumpkin pie,
with extra sweet whipped cream,
a mountain dew,
a glass of wine,
a frozen yogurt
with lots of fruit on top,
and some maple syrup
on a pancake made
from NON whole wheat flour.

Well...
I may not be that free...
but my diet is now
a bit more free

And that is due to the fact
that today I began my
five times a day
insulin injections.
Ick!

(Hey
you gotta put a positive spin
on it, right? right?)

The doc actually said,
"Now, just cuz you're on insulin
don't just go eat
whatever you want!"

So, no, I'm not that free
to eat what I want
but I don't have to be quite as careful
about counting each and every
carb, sugar, protein, etc.
Phew!
That's some relief!
And it makes me a bit more
of a flexible person
-something I have
realized
was a bit of a pride issue
for me-

I'll spare you the gory details
but
I will say that my needles
are really only
a few cm long
which is WAY better
than the practice needle
the nurse had me use today
which was like an inch and a half!
And totally left a green bruise!

Want to know something
that is in fact
free?
All my insulin and needles
and the injectors
and all that jazz!
The doctor has me on a
super
low dosage,
so I get to use these
pens that have the insulin already in them
and I just change the needle
and designate how many units
to give myself each time
and these pens
are handed out to doctors
as free samples
quite often
and don't have a long shelf life,
so...
he's going to give me them
as I need them
and then I won't have to buy them!
Now that is FREE!
Yay!

I shed a few tears,
shook out a few nerves,
and had a bit of a hard day
dealing with the disappointment
that diet hasn't done what I wished it would,
but
as you can prolly hear in my tone
I'm trying to be positive.

Greg and I have
decided we'll carve a pumpkin tonight
to wish away
any thoughts of today
having been a hard day.
Pray for us
as we deal with some
tough stuff with students at school,
as we deal with some
tough stuff with me and my emotions! (ha!),
and as we deal with some
busy-ness that keeps us on our toes.

Thanks for your kind cheers for me
with my "light at the end of the tunnel"
talk from last night.
We feel lifted by your prayers

and are praising the Lord
for his provision of family and friends
that know Him
love Him
and walk with us toward Him!

Light...

There is a glimmer of light
showing itself
flashing periodically
showing the tunnel I've felt
has an end
and there is light there!

Yesterday
after one of my meals
I was actually at
the CORRECT sugar levels
for the FIRST time since I got my meter!

Today
after two of my meals
I was actually at
the CORRECT sugar levels
for the FIRST time since I started this diet!

Tomorrow
after ____ of my meals...
We shall see!
And tomorrow
I meet with Dr. Saltman again.
He should have some answers for me.

I am also eating less...
less than the prescribed diet...
which is just making me feel SO much better!
And thus far,
my acidic Ketone levels
has been good enough
that I don't need to be preoccupied
about not eating enough calories.

Light
at the end of this tunnel
and I'm so thankful for it!

Thank you for your prayers for me.
My stress and anxiety levels seem to be lessening
while my strength and courage are increasing.
This is due to my Lord
and his gifts of GRACE
and I thank you for the prayers
that lift me to His grace
when I feel like it's hard to lift myself...

I had my regular appt today too.
Doc says Baby Girl isn't on the "big" side yet
which is a great thing =)
Makes me smile.
He also said to start taking
an Iron Supplement
so I went and got one at the store today.

This week has been
a less of a week as far as teaching goes
as 7th and 8th graders
have field trips twice this week
and they're my main grip of students
so I've had some time
to do some extra planning,
write a Social Studies test,
and tomorrow I'll write my PreAlgebra Test.
Very nice to have the extra time.

And then this Friday
is our Halloween Celebrations
so it's like there's no school
as we do a parade
class parties
a Haunted Hallway
and other random activities.

I'm hoping that this weekend
I'll have some time to set up
and take pictures
of projects Mom worked on
while she was here.
Baby Girl's room
MAKES ME SMILE
every time I walk by!
Can't wait
for it to make me smile
cuz I'll be able to HEAR her!

Home... And Disheartened

Today Greg, Mom and I are home.
I was off work yesterday-
cuz I had all my Diabetes appts...
and it was nice to have a little extra time with Mom.
My appts went super well.

Dr. Saltman (the Diabetes Doctor) is great-
He listens,
He takes his time,
He knows all his patients in the waiting room,
He has a soft touch,
He has been doing it for a really long time,
He's knowledgeable,
He's great.

Ann Marie (the Diabetes Nurse) is great-
She should be a teacher,
She explains things super well,
She loves her job,
She loves on her patients,
She's encouraging,
She is gentle,
She's great.

Monique (the Diabetes Dietician) is great-
She gave me great resources,
She has a positive outlook,
She is always available,
She's great.

Thank you for your prayers
regarding these appointments.
They really did go very well.
I felt encouraged as I got home,
and made my dinner, etc.

It wasn't until an hour later
that I took my blood sugar reading,
and fell into a disheartened state.
After following this diet,
I need my sugars around 125
one hour after I eat.
Mine was over 200...
Bummers.

As I dwelled on it all evening,
and then had to force down my
evening snack
(which is REQUIRED)
I found myself feeling depressed,
and I couldn't hold back
the emotion anymore.

So cry I did.
Greg was wonderful.
Mom was great.
Still...I spent most of the night
upset
and
discouraged.

Would you pray for my
emotional health?

Would you pray for my
body to sleep?

Would you pray for my
anxiety about "mothering" well
while Baby Girl is still in the womb?

Would you pray that I would
hear THE TRUTH louder
than the falsehoods
swirling in my brain?

Would you pray that my body
would respond well to the diet?

Would you pray that I would
have courage if next week
Dr. Saltman decides to put me
on insulin shots?

Would you pray that Baby Girl
remains healthy?

Would you pray for Greg and I,
that we would grow together
in the midst of my emotion,
distress, anxiety, fear,
disappointment, annoyance,
sadness, stress?

Would you?

I feel done as far as talking about it,
so I think I'm gonna end here...

I'm ending on a low note,
in a way,
but that's kinda where I am.

I'm thankful for Greg's idea
to take today off,
focus on 30 min. of exercise,
checking blood sugars on time,
eating exactly what I'm supposed to,
and getting a handle on this.

Praise Jesus for a wonderful husband
to walk with me...
I am not alone, in so many ways!

Extra Clarification

I guess I should clarify a little bit
from what I posted about
officially being a diabetic.

What I am is officially diagnosed
with gestational diabetes.
This means that as soon as Baby Girl
is delivered,
my body should return to normal.

Doc Henderson explained
that it's actually the placenta's fault!
All the hormones coming from the placenta
cause the pancreas not to create the insulin necessary.
So my body, instead,
leaves the glucose in my bloodstream,
which results in diabetes.

Your sugar levels in a regular blood test
should be somewhere just below 100ish.
After I had fasted for 11 hours
for my last blood test,
my levels were 91.
Good.
But after one hour having been
on the glucose syrup stuff
my levels skyrocked to 201!
I guess that's kinda extreme.
After another hour they had
only gone down to 173,
so that means my body didn't adjust
the way it's needed
by creating more insulin
to deal with all that sugar intake.

Next week I'll have more info
and I'll educate you all =), ha!

But for now
my understanding
is that the biggest things to stay away from
are sugars
(sugar, fruit, tomatoes, carrots, syrup, jam)
and simple carbs
(bread, pasta, crackers, etc)
and I'm to add to my diet
complex carbs
(lentils, beans, potatoes, whole grain, fiber)
and lots of veggies and proteins.
Sounds not so bad,
but it will take
extra thought,
extra planning,
and probably some
extra money too.

My dad asked
if this meant Baby Girl
would have a higher likelihood of
blood sugar issues,
and it's not necessarily a higher risk,
as far as I understand.
But I'll be asking questions like that

when I go to all my appts next Wed.

I just got off the phone with my mamita.
I'm so glad she's coming.
I know I said that last post,
but it's still the truth,
so I'll just say it again!

o.f.f.i.c.i.a.l.l.y.

I have been officially declared
A Diabetic!

The doc said to me,
"You're the reason we do this test
for almost every pregnant woman.
You have NO risk factors.
I never would have thought."

I guess in 1985 the US
decided that for OB/GYN docs
the "recommendation"
would be that all pregnant women with risk factors
would be given the glucose test.

Then in 1990 the same gov't
decided that the "recommendation"
would be that all pregnant women
would be given the glucose test.

Risk factors are supposed to be
clear family history of diabetes
and/or obesity.
So many people have said to me,
"Oh, don't worry, you won't have it.
You don't have any risk factors."
Ha!
Well, I'll show them!!

I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions about it.
Fear is totally not my highest.
Which is a good thing.

I've spent more time
trying to figure out which is
more "disturbing" to me:

1) I couldn't control whether or not
I "got" this

2) I must relinquish some freedoms
that I have greatly enjoyed
(eating what sounds good,
not eating what doesn't)

3) The time and effort that will go into
making sure this babe
has a good chance
at coming into this world healthy

So...
I'll ask for continued prayers
but also thank you for your prayers thus far.
In some ways I'm at peace.
In other ways I'm at war with myself.
My patience is often worn thin by students,
my schedule will have to be determined by food,
I may have to do my own insulin shots, we'll see.

I know it's not the end of my world.
I know God knows what/how/when/where already.
And in that I can rest.

I'll meet with a dietician next week
and I'll meet with a nurse about the shots
and I'll meet with an endocronologist too.
I probably won't even make it into school that Wed.
Ugh.

Can I just say God knew what he was doing
when he knew he'd bring me my mommy
when I was gonna have to start
learning to eat all over again?!?
Mom comes this Sat! Yay!